Eight years ago I was scheduled to have my tubes tied after Jared was born. I had to wait to have it done due to insurance procedure so I couldn't have it done while in surgery when Jared was born. I had to wait so many weeks after Jared's birth. Well during that time I really prayed about this decision and the Lord told me not to do it. So I cancelled my surgery. I then felt after prayer I was going to have another child.
A couple years later I had two miscarriages. This was a very trying time in my life not understanding the reasons why this was happening. At this time I was ready for another child but it wasn't His timing. This was so difficult to understand.
Then I was having major problems with my cycle. I had a lot of pain and heavy cycles. I made an appointment to see my doctor and he was like you have some fibriod tumors but since I was so young he said he wasn't going to do anything about them and I should be fine. Well the whole issue went on for a couple years and it got really bad to the point I wouldn't leave home during the week every month.
March of 2009, I thought I was just starting my cycle on spring break. Well that cycle never ended or what I thought was a cycle. I went to ER a couple times because I was very week and in a lot of pain. One of the ER visits they found a mass but they said it was in my intestines. So that was very scary!!! Thankfully I had friends supporting me and telling me I need answers. One friend gave me the number to the doctor that did her hysterectomy. Well we called him and at the time I had no insurance so he wouldn't see me but his office gave me a number of another doctor. So we called Dr. Lugo and he would see me. This is in late June of 2009. He did an ultrasound in his office and said that I had multiple fibriod tumors in my uterus and one had actually grew through my uterine wall and it was very large. He said there was no way of saving my uterus and that I would need surgery to remove the uterus and tumors. This is what was causing my bleeding. He told me my body was producing 10 units of blood daily and I was probubly losing 8 units daily. No wonder I was feeling horrible.
So now I was really confused to why I wasn't to have the surgery in 2003. I was devastated that I was not going to be able to have another child. But I serve an amazing Lord who knows why this happened.
July 29, 2009, Shane drove me to St. Johns in Anderson to have my surgery. This day was a relief in a sense and a sad day also. But I serve an Awesome God and he would see me through all of my trials. But after surgery I began to grieve and ask why a lot. I still have days I don't understand and it is overwhelming to not know what good came out of this. I still want another child. People say to me well if God wants you to have another child He will make it possible. Which I know is true but its hard to see this. But I know now that there is a way that when the tumors were found that they could have been taken care of and I could have had a chance of having another child. I just don't understand.
I am also thankful for the children I do have and they are a blessing from God!!!
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